who's idea was it anyways?

I started out my morning last Tuesday feeling great in spite of it being rainy and cold outside. I was invited by a good friend to go eat breakfast with her kiddos and my Micah. It sounded like Heaven to get to have a home cooked type meal without the mess in my kitchen and also to enjoy spending time talking to another adult.

I arrive at the Village Inn on time (something I really love to do) get my handsome son out of the car. I had brought a few toys, diaper, and a book to entertain the child that I just knew was going to be a doll the whole time. After sitting down at the table and strapping him into his highchair. My jewel of a child decided to lose his mind. It was food, cups and paper a flying. He was making as much noise as his sweet lungs could make. I opened up a sugar packet and poured it on the table hoping to entertain him, but instead he looked like he had been to a Hollywood party! Sugar up the nose! Needless to say that no real adult talk was achieved, but I was not too discouraged because after the meal and chasing my son all over the restaurant, my friend still wanted to hang out with me. My son had not caused her to go running to the hills. Her kids were perfect the whole time mine was going nuts. She still had a peaceful look on her face that clearly read that she was glad it was mine and not hers acting up. You all know the look.

So, she mentioned going to Target to do a little shopping for a party she was going to have, and I said yes. In my head I was thinking how bad could it be, Micah will be strapped in the cart and maybe I can get some Christmas shopping done. HA

I walked into Target looking sane. I had my 3 inch boots on and a nice sweater and was feeling pretty good about myself. My son went quietly into the cart and I buckled him right in with little problem.

I went down a few isles looking at things my children would enjoy getting as stocking stuffers and Micah was busy going through my purse. I went down the book area and let him pick a CARS book to take his mind off of throwing my personal items on the ground. He was starting to get a bit restless and I knew I was now on borrowed time. I needed to move my butt! I needed to get Micah some baby wash and I wanted to get some Mr Bubble for his bath time. He loves bubbles in the water!

I had about half of my cart full and was looking at the candles when I looked back at Micah I saw that he had opened the bottle of Mr Bubble and had poured it over everything in the cart and himself. and trying to clean it up I ended up covered in the watermelon smelling suds. (again I am in heals!) Time to leave Target, son is screaming from soap in eyes and from me spanking his bottom in the store. I bought all the items he had poured the Mr. Bubble on and hurried out to my car. People were staring at the crazy lady covered in Mr. Bubble and the screaming kid. You know the look of pity when you see it, and also the look of "why can't people control their kids". I HATE THOSE STARES

I get to my car with the cart and my son. I put Micah down to unlock the door and he takes off like a bull is chasing him. I run after him leaving cart purse and keys at car. Again 3 inch heels, pouring down rain, and Mr. Bubble all over my feet. I am slipping and sliding all over and leaving a trail of bubbles in my path. My son is having no trouble in his great escape. After 4 or 5 lanes, and nearly getting hit 2 times by cars, I grab the back of my sons shirt and pull him down into a huge muddy puddle. I am beyond rational thinking by now. My friend is still in the store having her own horrible time because her kids were needing bathroom breaks and trying to escape themselves. They had had enough of being good I finally got Micah safely strapped into his car seat. He is muddy and screaming. Now I am laughing at the whole thing. How must I have looked to those people who were watching? bubbles mud and rain.

I learned two important things:

1. All I want for Christmas is a harness for my boy!

2. No more shopping with Micah till he is older. Much much older

On a different note, I went to a wonderful Christmas party on Saturday. No kids!!!!!! So I did get my adult conversations in. I am going to try to attach a video and pic from that night. I made the cheer filled punch and it tasted just dandy. Which will explain the video a bit. Allison's and her husband looked so nice that I am also attaching their photo.

My husband is having an operation on Tuesday and I am a bit scared about it. It is on his spine and so I am asking for prayers please.

where has the time gone...

I have been gone from my blog site for so long that I forgot the password and then I was wondering if I even had a thing to say that was worth trying to find the password at all.

Here I am so I guess I do have something to say after all.

I have just a few minutes before I have to run off to my next errand. I have been doing so much better about not signing up for new things and taking things off my plate to be able to spend time at home with the kids more.

Micah started preschool one day a week, and although there has been a bit of drama at drop off, it is such a huge blessing to me to go home and study (sleep) for a few hours.

I am the Proud owner of my Associates degree!!!! I can't use it for a darn thing yet till I get my Bach. in a year and a half, but still it is a milestone. I am the first on my dads side of the family to even get a degree, and on my moms side there is one other person. I feel proud. I decided to throw myself a little graduation party after the holidays are over. Maybe a happy hour at applebees type thing.

Homeschooling is going great, but I am trying to get Aspen in Orange Grove Middle school for next year. My class load will be 13 semester hours and I am thinking I will not ba able to take on Aspen as well. She is excited about it though. I think she may be sick of hanging with old mom.

OK, so I posted, but I do have to run. I will post more later!!

my hero

School has started for me!!! I am so excited and overwhelmed at the same time. I love going to school and learning. I feel so good when I am reading a textbook and taking notes. I am a true nerd at heart! It is something I can deal with. I also have a grade point average of 3.75 (not bragging or anything:)

Other things going on in my house..... I started a "No TV on school nights" rule around my house, and so I am no longer the favorite parent of the house. I am not sad about it though. All good things must come to an end, and my husband is loving that he is top dog in their eyes. I instead have them read, write, or color. I read a book (surprised?) that suggested this as a way to get children to love reading. Just take away the TV option and all the rest of the pieces will fall into place. It has been a week and I have caught my children reading books with such a look of joy on their faces. Although this is not something I want them to know I know just yet as I am not too liked and it may backfire if they know this was my true purpose after all.

Aspen has been getting a lot of babysitting jobs lately and for that I am thankful. I think it is great she is able to make her own money and she has been putting it away in savings. I am bursting with pride. I need to learn from her.

Most of the illness is out of my house. Micah has what looks like the same thing as his sisters had, but he is coming out of it rather nicely. A few more days and then it should be over. After that there will be nobody left in this house that can catch it. Praise God!

Funny story. As stated in an earlier post, my son has been taking off his diaper a lot! We figured it was time to potty train and bought a little boy potty for him. He thinks it is a place to hold his toy cars, but at least he is not scared of it. Well... I have been putting him to bed nearly fully dressed each night so as to keep him from getting to his diaper and making a huge mess. I did this last night and when I walked into his room this morning i could tell something was wrong. It stunk so bad! I turned on the light and yelled for my husband to get in there and help me. My little escape artist had managed to take off his clothing and diaper and had taken what looked like a babyruth poo in the middle of his bed. My husband told me to grab Micah while he cleaned up the bed (knowing that poo is not something I like to deal with) Blame it on the early morning fog, but my husband lifted up the mattress to get the sheet off and the poo went a flying! I heard the sick THUD as it hit the floor and split into sections. Pieces rolling everywhere. Well, I was out of there as fast as my legs could carry me. Need to duck tape that diaper on him! Is that considered legal?

That is all for now

As a mother you are expected to make sure that the things get done that should be done. Teeth need to be brushed, dinner on the table, homework checked over, laundry folded and put away in the right locations, house straighted, and kids driven to school. But, what happens when mommy gets sick?

My oldest daughter is know for not getting sick. Her record is 4 years since the last illness! So the other day she was acting a bit funny and not making any since. I checked her temp only to find she was a hundred and 3.5! Now the hard part was getting her to go to bed and rest. She is stubborn and refuses to believe anything is wrong with her at all. Then the throwing up started. This is one of any mothers most dreaded things, right below pooing everywhere.

So, once again I called up my now favorite Dr in the whole wide world, Dr Bean, and explained what was happening. Her sister just had Phenomia, and they share a room. Could Aspen have caught it from her? He got me in right away. She just has the stomach flu thank heavens, but no fun just the same. He gave her some medicine that knocked my stubborn girl right out. She slept for 5 hours!

I thought I had it all under control. Jordan was nearly better, Micah has no symptoms at all, and Aspen was resting and will be better in no time. Then it happened! I woke up and hurt all over. I checked my temp to find that I was well into the 100s. I could hardly get out of bed, but knew that Jordan needed help getting ready and her lunch was needing to be fixed. I just wanted to cry! I prayed that I could just make it through the morning and then have Aspen help me take care of Micah. But wait! Aspen is sick too, and would be of no help for me. So, I did what I thought was best and put on Micahs Monster truck movie that would keep him busy for 2 hours, and I laid down on the couch, cried, and fell asleep.

I woke up when he threw his sippy cup on my head leaving a small bruise on my temple. His movie was over and he was wanting my full attention now. I felt even worse than I did that morning, but he is only 1 1/2 and all my trying to reason with him left him looking confused.

I ended up reading him a few books, and singing a lot of songs before he was contented enough to go play with his train set in his room for half an hour.

Aspen on the other hand had gotten up and was moaning and groaning about her tummy hurting and could I help her make soup? We made some homemade chicken and rice soup because I had no cans that would do.

As I stood over the hot stove cooking the soup, I started feeling like throwing up. So I ran to the toilet and missed it. I now have it all over the floor, and some more on the walls. More work to do in a bit. Right now I had to get back to the soup that needed stirring.

So, back at the stove I was. I had informed Aspen to avoid the bathroom because I needed to tend to it later. At this point I remembered I had to wash Jordan a pair of shorts for school tomorrow. She had been so sweet and asked me to wash them because all her friends were wearing the same thing tomorrow. I now had laundry that I would have to struggle through so as to not disappoint my little one. GREAT!

The straw that finally broke the mommys back was while Micah was in there playing so nicely with his new train set he took off his pants and diaper (see where I am heading?) I went to check on him only to find him (and half his room) covered in what looks like guacamole, but in no way smelt like it. AGHH

I put him in the tub, took some more medicine for my rising temp and cried again.

Aspen was now unable to eat her food because of the horrible smell filling the house. I put it in the fridge for later.

After cleaning bathroom and Micahs bedroom I was no longer able to stand without my head pounding. I laid Micah down for a nap, put Aspen back to bed, and tried to close my eyes for a minute. HAHA

Instead of a rest I got 4 phone calls and a repair man in my house fixing a leak I had called in a week ago. Oh, and dinner is getting taken care of. I am defrosting a yummy meatloaf from a friend. It is at these moments that I am thankful for the cooking club!

Then it is off to pick up my middle child from school and go over her homework and oversee the chores.

I feel for my hubby when he comes home because I am locking myself in the bathroom and taking a long bath. Then I am going to bed!

Lord, please be with my family and all the sickness that is in it right now. I pray that I can get back on my feet quickly. My family needs me to be at my best and not sick. Be over all the people we have been around lately and help them to not catch any of our illness.

San Diego

We got back from Sad Diego on Saturday, and it is so true what they say "You need a vacation from your vacation". I love my children, honest! Anyone who knows me will tell you that, yes, I am a bit scatter brained, but I do love my children.

Having said that.... I came back from this trip with the only thought running through my head being "get away from the children!" What was supposed to be a 6 hour car ride took over 9 hours because my children needed bathrooms and food and stretching, etc. I know that I should have been planning on these little stops, but I did not think it would be every 30 minutes. My in-laws are great, but they gave in way too many times to my children. Anytime Micah would whimper they would pull into the nearest stop and get him goodies. What that is teaching my child would make any mother cringe.

We stayed at the most beautiful hotel on Coronado Island. We had our own kitchen and huge tub and private bedroom. The girls slept on a huge fold out couch and Micah in a crib. While I was unpacking, I noticed Jordan had a bit of a cough. As I listened throughout the night it got worse and worse. The next morning there was a fever along with the cough.

I flashed back on the Disney trip where Jordan and I walked around Disneyland while everyone else rode rides because she was unable to do so. I just knew if she got sick it would be mommy home with Jordan while everyone else went sailing and to the beach and bike riding along the cost. So I prayed. Please don't let this be a bad thing Jordan has.

Later that day she seemed better, and we went bike riding and to the beach and out to a very cool restaurant. All seemed ok.

When we got back to our room the coughing started again. I started thinking "is this her trying to get attention now because she got attention earlier for being ill?" I sat down with her and we read a story and talked for awhile. I ran her a bath and she was still coughing. hmmmmm.

After she went to sleep I checked her temp again and it was 103. WHAT? How could she have gotten so high and me not know it? I woke her up and gave her the dye free Tylenol and some cool water. She went to sleep right after with no problems. She woke up the next morning coughing so hard she threw up. I found myself asking why now? We are supposed to be on vacation and not sick!

The 2 of us stayed in that day while everyone else had fun on the beach. We did order 100 dollars of room service though and sit on the bed and eat and drink and veg on old I Love Lucy shows. all in all, not too bad of a day. Plus, I did not get sand in my bum.

Long story short, we stayed away from the outside activities as much as possible due to her cough and not wanting to get the rest of the world sick from whatever she had.

on a different note, Micah spent a lot of time with his grandpa. Grandpa would knock on our door at 7 am wanting the boy to come out and play with him. It was so sweet, but now my boy is a rotten terror. He is starting preschool in a few weeks and I fear he may get kicked out. But my boy had a blast. He did not like the water at all this year, but maybe next year he will.

Back to Jordan. We got back home and she still had fever and a huge cough followed by vomiting. I called the doctor first thing Monday morning. I already have been wanting to switch doctors because I hate dirty offices and rude nurses and doctors who really don't listen to you, but when I got an answering machine saying they were out that day I decided it was time to act. My daughter Aspen has a friend who's dad is a doctor (Dr. Bean) He has been telling me that night or day I could call him if I needed anything. I called him up and they got me in the office in an hour. WOW! I am switching all 3 kids there now. She ended up seeing Dr. Delp, who used to go to the church I attend. He is just awesome with kids. We had to get x-rays, and found out that my daughter has been walking around with pneumonia. I felt so bad for her. School is starting right around the cornor so I am rushing to get her better so she wont miss any days.

She is getting better now that she has the rest and meds.

Praise God! School is coming!

I have been so busy lately trying to prepare for the coming of my little girls 3rd year. We have started to practice Latin, multiplication, reading, memorizing poems...... My brain is on overdrive. I am a very competive person by nature, and my Jordan is a very quick learner, so it has been easy to get her a head start on this years lessons. She even wrote a book called "My First Day of School" There were a couple of misspellings, but all in all it shows what she is expecting to happen the first day of school. It reads like a comic book with funny illistrations and such. For a nine year old she has a huge sense of humor. One of the pages got my attention though. She drew in a picture of what I can only guess is me on a bad hair day, and I am saying to her to study harder and make me proud. Ouch! Is she trying to tell me something? Am I pushing the poor child too hard? So the last 2 days I have been letting all children just run crazy and be kids.

We leave for California in 3 days!!!!! We have already packed most of the items we will be needing, and started to clean the house so it wont be disgusting when we return. I love the ocean. I usuall dig a hole in the sand and then find clams to put in the hole. I end up with somewhere around 100 clams in the sand hole. It is a weird thing, but since I wont get in the water, it is the pass time that I find joy in. I went to the library today and checked out some light reads. I just finished 9 books in 3 days, so I am on a roll.

I will post pictures of the trip when we get back. Pray for our safe travel please.

Only 7 more days till we go to Coronado Island! I am so excited I can not wait to play on the beach with the kiddo's. We are staying at the most beautiful hotel and the food is going to be just awesome!

Until then I am busy trying to get things in order for the trip. Bills must be paid, house cleaned, and meals ready in the freezer for when we return. My very best friend in the world is house sitting for me and so a huge load off my mind.

School time is fast approaching and I am filled with the great feeling of soon I will be sending one child out of the house each morning, and the girls fighting will be gone for a few hours.

I have been not sleeping very well at nights for nearly a week now. I find myself laying in the bed until nearly 5 am wide awake. I just can't toss the thoughts out of my head. Any thought. It is not like I am worried about anything. In fact life is pretty easy going right now. But then why the lack of sleep? 1 to 2 hours a night can make a person a bit crazy.

I spent one evening trying to turn off a song called "gonna write a letter" from the Doodlebops. I could not stop myself from trying to finish the song. I got a book out and tried to read till I fell asleep, but nope, I could not stop singing the SONG! This has been a bit much for me because the next night I lay awake wondering why I couldn't stop singing the song the night before. Do you see my pattern?

I have taken sleeping pills, drank relaxing tea, took hot shower before bed, prayed, but still the sleep is not coming. It is so quite and lonely at 3 in the morning. I actually woke my husband up Saturday night and told him all I knew of the King Henry the 8Th story. I have studied him for a couple of years now, and I know a lot of the mans history, so my husband got an hour long (at least) lecture of Henry. My husband finally told me that he had learned enough and for me to please be quite. Well, this was not a cool thing to say to someone at 4 int he morning when she has not slept in days. I went on to tell him about other exciting times in Europe's history. We ended up not going to church the next day because I looked like a zombie, and so did he. I am a bit sorry for keeping him awake, but like I already stated, it is so lonely being the only one up at that hour.

I am going to keep trying to get sleep at night, but did go to the library to stock up on more books just in case.

Jordan comes home in a week! I am so excited to be getting my little bundle of conversation back in the Sunny AZ state. She has been calling everyday, and tells me all about her adventures in Tyler. She got a hair cut, she's going swimming, she's going to the movies, slumber parties, 6 flags, etc......

Point is, she is having fun. But she also misses me. I bring the routine and the normal back into her life. I am boring, but stable. I am the homework, chores, and bed at 8 person. I hear it in her voice when she talks on the phone to me. She is in a constant state of "GO" while there with her grandparents, and they are trying to squeeze as much into their 32 days as they can. They want her to come back here and look forward all year long to returning to them. I get it.

She comes back Saturday and my house will once again be filled with her sweet self.


I read a friends blog the other day and she was telling about her child's adventure with poo, and I was thinking that if it happened to me I would just sit in a corner and wait till it was over then call for help. WELL, God has such a wonderful sense of humor, and I have been seeing it lately in my little boy. Just for the record, little boys are a lot different than girls.

My son had a diaper rash, and I am a firm believer that airing out the bottom is the best way to get rid of it. So, I took off his diaper and let him go free. He had just filled his diaper, so I figured it was safe, and really what harm could he do. HA! I went to the bathroom leaving the door open to listen to the sound of Doodlebops and my son in the living room. I swear it was only a few minutes in there putting on my makeup and doing as the Flylady says to do for my morning routine. I was putting my hair into a ponytail when it occurred to me that my son was quite, and this was very unlike him. I ran to the living room to find my son on top of my dining room table dancing and rolling his cars in his own urine. He was soaked, and so were the cars and my table and chairs. It had looked like he had stored up all his potty for this moment. He gave me the sweetest smile before throwing his wet car at me, hitting me in the head. Urine running down my face I could not stop giggling. Here was a completely disgusting situation and I must have looked crazy to my son. I know there is nothing in the flylady handbook to handle this situation. Forget the morning routine. I grabbed my son and his cars and threw him into the bath, while at the same time trying not to open my mouth to let the urine in.

No more airing out of his bottom. I went out and got diaper rash cream.

I know it is not as nasty as poo, but gross still.

clean closets say a lot about me

So in my earlier post I mentioned how I was back to the Fly lady to help me keep this house of mine under control. Also in my earlier posts I showed a picture of my shoe closet. Yesterdays "10 minute clean" thing was to straighten the shoe closet. AGHHHHHH!! This is my worst nightmare. But after much thought I decided to jump in. I got the 3 boxes she told me to get (throw away, give away, and things that go into another room) It took a bit longer than 10 minutes, but my shoes have been straightened. Each shoe is with it's matching partner, and I even got rid of 5 pairs! (2 were my husbands. STILL COUNTS) It does make it a lot less exciting to get the shoes in the morning, but oh well.

I also have cleaned out from under my bed. Wow! I was not aware of the items that had been under there. I could make a sweater from all the cat hair I swept out.

I found my old sewing machine under there for goodness sake. I just wish I knew how to sew. I would love to make little outfits for my kids. The only time I ever tried to sew I ended up with something that looked like it belonged on the Flintstones show. AWFUL. My sweet daughter did wear it, but I noticed it came up missing a few days later. hmmmmm

My house is slowly coming together and for that I am thankful. I am a huge control freak, and when my house is messy I can't breath. I have to have order in my life.

On a completely different note, a few months ago my Jordan had a birthday party and instead of people buying her gifts we decided on a charity to have people donate money to. She raised 275 dollars for Teen Challenge of Arizona. She was very happy with this charity because it helps keep teens off drugs. She knew she did a good thing and it made my heart feel good too. I wrote them a letter and sent off the money. I must admit that I expected them to at least send her a thank you card, but here it was June and nothing. I was ticked off, and had decided just 2 days ago to throw out their address and we were not going to use them as a charity in the future. BAD MOMMY! Well, I got home yesterday and there was a message on my machine asking for me to call them. I did and they said that they were so touched by what Jordan had done that they wanted to throw her a party to show their thanks. After all it was not everyday that a 9 year old gave up birthday presents. I was so touched I cried. I told them when she got back from Texas, and they put in on the calendar. I told them it was really unnecessary, and all she really would like is a card of thanks instead, but they insisted on doing something special for her.

I am pretty sure this was a God thing. He was showing me that it was supposed to be a sweet thing in having Jordan give money to charity, but I had made it ugly by wanting recognition for her. Shame on me.

Anyways, I thought I would share that story to be held acountable for my actions.

The Frantic Reader

I have recommitted myself to the flylady again. I tried to listen to her in the past, but the constant emails and testimonies, and suggestions drove me crazy, I stopped and asked myself if I even really did want to shine my stinking sink everyday! I have put these past thoughts behind me, and signed back up for her help. I don't want to spend all of my time cleaning, and she really is a life saver. I chose the option to get all the emails at once, and on one email. Not 20 emails in the box, just one with that days items in it. Thank you FLYLADY

Jordan has been gone for 1 week now, and her absence if felt by all. She is the talker in the house, and now we all kinda look at each other for them to like to start up a conversation. She called today to let us all know how much fun she is having and that she was not drinking too much soda, and was being a very sweet girl to all her friends. See, the power of a parent who comes before the Lord on their child's behalf is heard.

That is about all the news I have here.

OH, I did get the laundry room painted and we are going to hang the shelf and mirror in it tomorrow! I love home improvement. ok, I really dont, but I do like the finished product.

I wanted to close this on something I read the other day while skimming through Homeschooling help books. It actually made me cry. (could be hormones)

"God is so smart. I think He knows that if He told us all ahead of time what was to be in store for our lives, we would all certainly opt out earlier.He knows that if we stick with Him and do what He has set before us- because we know it is a rough job but somebody has to do it, Because we know that He is able even when we are not -He is always able to pull off great things in spite of us."

It went on to say that if you are feeling like you can't handle homeschooling your child,and that you don't know where to begin or what you should teach, then perhaps you are thinking about "you" and not God or your blessed child.

Thank you God for knowing my struggles and being there for me to cry to when nobody else is around. Thank you for my sweet Aspen, who has taught me so much these last couple of months. Thanks you God for Jordan, for all her witty humor, her sweetness to anyone, and the art of conversation. also thank you for Micah, who is proving to be both entertaining and enjoyable during the schooling hours. I see him learning to pray with the family, and my heart cries out with happiness.

You are an awesome God

Amen

I have been doing a lot of reading in my bible the last couple of weeks. I have been brought down to my knees and my sin has been exposed to me. I feel a tight feeling in my chest as my heart tries to come to terms with just how bad I really am. And yet, I have a loving Savior who died so that I can put my sin behind me and know that when my day of judgement comes, I can be welcomed in to my home with Jesus.

Having said that.....


I was humbled today by someone I feel is a close friend, and someone I really admire. I know that this person would never try to hurt me with words, but yet something she said cut deep. So deep, that when I got home I got out my bible and prayed for God to help me see that what was said should be an eye opener for me. This friend did not think that what she was saying probably even registered, but it did. I think that perhaps God was using her words to let me see what I had been doing. She was confessing a sin that she had done the day before, and how she needed to say she was sorry for it.

I was hit like a ton of bricks!

I had been sinning in the same way. I had not said I was sorry to the person I was hurting. This Godly woman, this friend, was openly admitting she was wrong and I was not brave enough to do the same.

I must go and confess my sins, and pray for forgivness, not only from her, but also from God.

Jesus said that His grace is deeper than my sins, and no one is happier than the one who has sincerely repented of wrong.

bathroom done too!!!

I felt so encouraged by showing my last post of Micah's room being all done that I got out the paint and finished another room. Now my bathroom is a nice cottonwood color instead of plain jane white. I think putting anything white in a childs bathroom is a joke. It is a true sign that the person who owned the house before us did not have kids. So anyways, my bathroom looks wonderful, and will not show as much of the children's fingerprints.

Now there is still the office and my bedroom to complete, but no rush.

I still need to write about my trip to Colorado, but it still all kinda stings, so I will wait to write about it later when I can fully put all thoughts down.

finished room

So, I forgot to put up pics of Micah's room now that it is all done. Floors are polished, walls are painted, and rug is all steam cleaned! We ROCK!!!!

I still have to put up the curtains, but I think I like it the way it is for now.

I will write more later.

I hate the smell of paint now! I just wat it all to be done and over with.

Week one, and all we have done is one stinking room. At least my sons room is no longer pink though. Now all we have left is the office and bathroom. AGHHHHHH

shoes

So, anyone who has ever seen my shoe closet knows what it looks like, and that although I may seem organized on the outside, one look at my shoe closet shows the true Danny.

Here is a picture:

If that is not enough to show how nutty I really am, then look at this one.

I do not have a pair of shoes with their mate. In fact, I usually have one shoe in the rack and the other on the floor. What the heck? It makes for an exciting time trying to find two alike shoes. Perhaps I have too many of them. Is that even possible?

I am writing this not without reason. Surprised?

I have been thinking of inner beauty a lot lately, and how a person can be so pretty on the outside but be so ugly on the inside. It is something all of us as God loving people must strive to work on. Being beautiful on the inside is hard. I have been praying that God would help me to work on it. That I would be nicer to people, more patient with my children and others, and that people will be lead to the Lord through me. Its hard! When someone cuts me off while driving I want to yell and scream and honk at them, it's hard. When a cashier at the store takes forever with the costumer in front of me while I am waiting with 3 yelling kids, a basket full of groceries, and a cell phone ringing, it's hard. When all I want is 3 minutes in the bathroom and the kids are banging on the door, it's hard.

There is this part of me that forgets at times to be patient and kind. I forget that through my actions I am either hurting or helping someone else.

well, what about the shoe closet has anything at all to do with any of this?

In my mind, my shoe closet represent the inner beauty. The rest of my house is the outer. No matter how clean the outer is, the inner needs serious work. In truth, it's a mess! And, people will see it even though I try to hide it. It never fails that there will be something in that closet that is needed every time someone comes over. It wont stay hidden!

I need to work on the inner.

So after months of looking at paint samples on my wall in my office, and my poor son living in a Mrs. Piggy Pink room, I have taken the plunge and started to paint. It was all I wanted for mothers day. Nothing like the smell of paint fumes to really bring a family together!

I pray that through this painting experience I can keep my cool and not freak out over people not painting excatly to my standard. I can always touch it up later.

I will post pics when the job is done. AGHHHHH

Thanks a lot Mandy!

OK, random is something I am great at. Just ask anyone who has had a 5 minute conversation with me. So, here are my random thoughts.

Random thought 1. I love the smell of skunks. Judge me all you want, but I am just laying it out there. They smell good.

Random Thought 2. I feed the birds even though my husband wants them all gone. I but birdseed and put it out each morning. I love to look at them in the trees outside my office window. Yeah, they do leave poo everywhere as a thank you for all the wonderful seed I put out, but they are still cool creatures of God.

Random Thought 3. I hate seafood! there is random for you. It is a gross food that stinks!


Random thought 4. I have a deep fear of water that i can not see my feet in. I wont go in lakes or oceans. It becomes so bad that I freeze up and sink if in water where my feet are not visible.

Random thought 5. I am a huge control freak! I have to control everything I touch, and sometimes step on toes on accident.

Random thought 6 (almost done) I love kids feet. (under 3) I have an obsession with the way they smell and look. How tiny their toes are. I just love them.

And last but not least, Random thought 7. I have to move things around in my house all the time. I can't leave things the same. i guess it comes from moving at least once a month with my mom.

who's got puppy blues?

My doggie is gone. He was a good chap (when he wasn't biting harmless kids) and he will be missed. Like the way he stole food off the table, licking the babies mess clean off the floor, cuddling on the couch, the poo on the sidewalk instead of the grass, and the lovely way he lapped up water from our toilets. Ah, Yes, the beginning of each morn we would have to pass the Kipper smell test before leaving the house. His nose an inch away from our mouths, smelling if we had brushed or not. (he preferred the not)





He was a good and decent fellow, and the absence is felt.

I pray that a good family comes and gets him from the Humane Society. He is a gentleman when his tummy is rubbed the right way. Plus he loves to dance!

Sunday lounging was complete with him here.

Goodbye sweet pooch.

quite

The house is still in the mornings, and before the kids get up I find myself staring at the birds outside of my office window. They are such beautiful creatures. No point to be made, just observation.

Today is Aspen's birthday and we woke her up singing and with a pudding filled chocolate cake that she insisted I make. She had bought me this betty crocker fill n bake a year ago and I thought the instructions were to difficult, so in my cabinet it sat until the other day when I asked her to tell me what kind of cake she wanted for her birthday. So I got the dust off of it and tried again to make sense of instructions. The cake turned out yummy, but my husband said it looked like a big breast. No matter how it looked, it was a great morning of cake and singing and opeing up of birthday presents.

finally

OK Mandy I am making a new post! I just now was able to get back on my account. Old age has made me forgetful I guess.

So much has happened since my last entry and I am having trouble trying to figure out where to begin.

Home schooling is going great and Aspen and I have found a new peace with each other. She has been jumping to my defence in a lot of situations, and a few times I have had to get her to back off of being such a guard dog. Mark calls her my little side kick. My mother in law does the English part of the lessons and leaves me with the math, science, and history. I am loving the time I get to spend each day in prayer and study with my daughter. The Lord knew this was something that would draw us closer to Him and to each other.

The home life is getting more peaceful as well. I find my husband outside on most nights reading his bible and trying to heal from his past hurts. So, although this journey has been long, I am glad to have taken the road I did.

Not having to go to work is AWESOME!!!! So thankful not to have to deal with a certain stress that will remain nameless. I am still working on Sundays as an Adult Sunday School Coordinator. Still not too sure what all this involves, other than making coffee of course. :)

We just went on a trip to Mount Lemon with the middle school kids from our church. This is a picture of Aspen blowing up the giant soccer ball. She really is full of hot air.

Also, April is birthday month for my girls. Jordan had a great party at the Oro Valley Park and instead of getting presents she decided to have people donate money to a charity of her choice. She chose Teen Challenge which helps get troubled teen help to fight addictions. She raised 290 for the place! But, most of all she felt so wonderful doing it. She knows first hand how drugs can ruin people and she had tears in her eyes when we were reading the website the Teen Challenge has. She does not want any other family to go through what she went through with her Biological father. I think my daughter has a real heart for God, and I am so thankful for her.

Shakespeare festive is coming up and with this time comes hurt feelings with Aspen, but joy with Jordan. Jordan has many speaking lines in her 2nd grade program, while Aspen was not allowed to participate in the program at all. I hope all goes well, and will be putting pictures up of the event. Cornerstone is such a blessing.

I was nominated for secetary of the Cornerstone school board for the next year. YEAH!!!!!! Ballots go out next week and this is a weird situation for me as I have never ran for anything before.

That is all for now, but will try to go into more detail later on

hiding under the cover. you can't see me!

I have been feeling a bit stressed lately, and I feel that my personal relationships are hurting from it. I am having trouble getting over the little things and blowing up at anyone. I think that it is just that I feel that a lot of things are getting out of my hands and I can't reclaim them.

Mark is still holding a grudge for what he feels was an unnecessary outburst. I threw fruit at him after he messed up again. not just any kind of fruit, but rotten bananas and grapes. they were the closest thing to me at the time of explosion. In my defence, they were better than apples and oranges. these were just mushy. I was just so angry and hurt and words failed me. Hard to see me without words, but it happened! the fruit hit the Mark (literally)

Things will get better. God is using this hard time as a stepping stool for something better in the future.

I have such a sense of "whatever" at the moment. the fruit will have to be cleaned off the Mark though.

Wedding at Tubac

What a romantic time we had at our friends wedding this last Saturday. It was a nice chance for my husband and I to drop the kids off and spend an evening as adults. Talking with adults about things other than kids. It was a beautiful service and the dinner afterward was yummy!

These are a few pictures of me and Mark at the wedding. Oh, and one of the awesome new shoes I bought of for the event. I love them!!!

I really enjoyed the event, and most of all, spending time with my boo.

Dinner for 8

OK, so I survived my first dinner for 8 hosting. It was actually a lot of fun! We cooked chicken and burgers and everyone else brought over side dishes and it was a great time of talking, eating, and watching kids go crazy.

My husband thought I would be all stressed out because I usually am when it comes to people coming over, but I think I was wonderful.(if I do say so myself)

My mother in law helped me in seeing that it is not how clean my house is but the fellowship that happens. It is silly to think people will judge me because of a messy house. I also did not want to spend all my time running around like a crazy person cleaning my house for people. Be Mary, not Martha.

Tomorrow we head to Tubac for a great stay at a glof resort and a wedding. I bought a beautiful dress with cute little shoes (if you can say any size 9 shoe is little) It will be nice to get away and just look at my husband without kids running around. It has been too long.

flowers

I love spring! The wonderful weather, the birds singing, and getting to play in the dirt in my garden!

I pulled weeds for over 2 hours, and there is still so many more. I keep thinking of the veggie tales movie as I am pulling them, and find I am humming the rumor weed song to myself. Of course I am doing all the funny voices of the characters as I joyfully pull them suckers out!

It is so true though, rumors can spread like weeds. I am so at fault and need to work in this area. It is so easy to talk about something awful you heard of someone else, but who does it really hurt in the long run? I think it ends up hurting the person who is gossiping, because people lose trust in that person. Why would you share something with someone who just told you the secret of another?

I guess it is something I need to work on as a personal goal.

the Black Death

Just got home from sunny San Diego! Fun in the sun sand and water? Nope! Just a smoky gross hotel room that did not have heat.

I went to a children's pastor conference with a few other co-workers. (plus two cute little babies) I had an amazing time learning about new and exciting things to use in the children's ministry. Although I am quitting my job in a few weeks, this stuff will help in dealing with my own children, and in my volunteering in the years to come.

Money well spent I think.

I also got a chance to see people outside of the church setting. They were great! We were all glad to get home though to our families.

I did come home with a heck of a souvenir... the Plague! I feel like my head is going to explode with the nasties. I want to curl into a ball and sleep, but alas, my sweet Micah will have none of that. As I am typing this he is climbing onto my lap and trying to push on every button on my keyboard. Ahhh, the joys of motherhood.

The Blues

I am sad

Not just a little blue, but full force tears streaming nose running sad.

Let me tell just say that I am not pretty when I cry. I get all red and blotchy. My husband laughs at this. It is hard to console me when your laughing at me. I do see his point in that I look silly.

When you have children you get this idea in your head of what you want for them. You want happiness, success, and love. You want them to like themselves and to be liked by others. You want them to have the things that you didn't growing up, and you also want them to learn about failure to make them stronger. You want them to be proud of who they are and where they came from.

My daughter hurts in a way that I can't help her with. In her pain I am drowning. She knows true disapointment and does not know how to handle it.

As a parent you feel your childs pain much worse than they feel it. The old saying "it is going to hurt me worse than it hurts you" is true. On the playground when a bully pushes your child down, the first response I want to give is to scream at that mean child. Your kid may pick right back up and moments later forget about the incident, but inside you are angry at the injustice of what happened. It hurts you worse.

My daughter hurts, and I hurt for her.

Friday Morning Random Thoughts

Certain things bother me....

Having said that, perhaps I should explain.

I have been feeling overwhelmed lately. I have a lot of crap on my plate. It is my personal problem, but when I mess something up, or heaven forbid, forget something, I have these people that get upset with me. I feel like they should have more of a Christian attitude they pretend to have on Sunday, when they are dealing with me. I am only human and my feelings do get hurt.

On a different note. I am quitting my job at the end of March. I am so torn up by this decision. I love my job and find such joy in working with the amazing people I am blessed to be with during the week. (except one) God has been moving me to make this career change for awhile, but I have been trying to be stubborn.

God is patient, but persentent with what he wants.

After giving me months to do the right thing on my own, God has now taken the choice out of my hands. I will be quitting my job and homeschooling my oldest child and watching my youngest child. On top of this big change, I will be finishing my degree online.

Big life changes, but God has made a way for all of this to happen. He paved the path months ago, but I kept wanting to take the other road that led to what I wanted to do. Well, God put up a dead end sign on that path.

No more Danny's road.

My daughter can no longer stay in her school, my mother in law can no longer watch Micah, my college classes are now offered online to get my Bach. degree, and my boss wanted too many hours from me. All of this in one day! I wanted to bury my head in the sand.

I had to leap off of the road I was on and trust God. Once I did that, peace came over me. I know I am doing what is right for my family.

I also started dropping things that had been filling my time.

I just pray that my transition will go smoothly, and a person can fill my place quickly.