Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
the Black Death
Just got home from sunny San Diego! Fun in the sun sand and water? Nope! Just a smoky gross hotel room that did not have heat.
I went to a children's pastor conference with a few other co-workers. (plus two cute little babies) I had an amazing time learning about new and exciting things to use in the children's ministry. Although I am quitting my job in a few weeks, this stuff will help in dealing with my own children, and in my volunteering in the years to come.
Money well spent I think.
I also got a chance to see people outside of the church setting. They were great! We were all glad to get home though to our families.
I did come home with a heck of a souvenir... the Plague! I feel like my head is going to explode with the nasties. I want to curl into a ball and sleep, but alas, my sweet Micah will have none of that. As I am typing this he is climbing onto my lap and trying to push on every button on my keyboard. Ahhh, the joys of motherhood.
I went to a children's pastor conference with a few other co-workers. (plus two cute little babies) I had an amazing time learning about new and exciting things to use in the children's ministry. Although I am quitting my job in a few weeks, this stuff will help in dealing with my own children, and in my volunteering in the years to come.
Money well spent I think.
I also got a chance to see people outside of the church setting. They were great! We were all glad to get home though to our families.
I did come home with a heck of a souvenir... the Plague! I feel like my head is going to explode with the nasties. I want to curl into a ball and sleep, but alas, my sweet Micah will have none of that. As I am typing this he is climbing onto my lap and trying to push on every button on my keyboard. Ahhh, the joys of motherhood.
Friday, February 23, 2007
The Blues
I am sad
Not just a little blue, but full force tears streaming nose running sad.
Let me tell just say that I am not pretty when I cry. I get all red and blotchy. My husband laughs at this. It is hard to console me when your laughing at me. I do see his point in that I look silly.
When you have children you get this idea in your head of what you want for them. You want happiness, success, and love. You want them to like themselves and to be liked by others. You want them to have the things that you didn't growing up, and you also want them to learn about failure to make them stronger. You want them to be proud of who they are and where they came from.
My daughter hurts in a way that I can't help her with. In her pain I am drowning. She knows true disapointment and does not know how to handle it.
As a parent you feel your childs pain much worse than they feel it. The old saying "it is going to hurt me worse than it hurts you" is true. On the playground when a bully pushes your child down, the first response I want to give is to scream at that mean child. Your kid may pick right back up and moments later forget about the incident, but inside you are angry at the injustice of what happened. It hurts you worse.
My daughter hurts, and I hurt for her.
Not just a little blue, but full force tears streaming nose running sad.
Let me tell just say that I am not pretty when I cry. I get all red and blotchy. My husband laughs at this. It is hard to console me when your laughing at me. I do see his point in that I look silly.
When you have children you get this idea in your head of what you want for them. You want happiness, success, and love. You want them to like themselves and to be liked by others. You want them to have the things that you didn't growing up, and you also want them to learn about failure to make them stronger. You want them to be proud of who they are and where they came from.
My daughter hurts in a way that I can't help her with. In her pain I am drowning. She knows true disapointment and does not know how to handle it.
As a parent you feel your childs pain much worse than they feel it. The old saying "it is going to hurt me worse than it hurts you" is true. On the playground when a bully pushes your child down, the first response I want to give is to scream at that mean child. Your kid may pick right back up and moments later forget about the incident, but inside you are angry at the injustice of what happened. It hurts you worse.
My daughter hurts, and I hurt for her.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Friday Morning Random Thoughts
Certain things bother me....
Having said that, perhaps I should explain.
I have been feeling overwhelmed lately. I have a lot of crap on my plate. It is my personal problem, but when I mess something up, or heaven forbid, forget something, I have these people that get upset with me. I feel like they should have more of a Christian attitude they pretend to have on Sunday, when they are dealing with me. I am only human and my feelings do get hurt.
On a different note. I am quitting my job at the end of March. I am so torn up by this decision. I love my job and find such joy in working with the amazing people I am blessed to be with during the week. (except one) God has been moving me to make this career change for awhile, but I have been trying to be stubborn.
God is patient, but persentent with what he wants.
After giving me months to do the right thing on my own, God has now taken the choice out of my hands. I will be quitting my job and homeschooling my oldest child and watching my youngest child. On top of this big change, I will be finishing my degree online.
Big life changes, but God has made a way for all of this to happen. He paved the path months ago, but I kept wanting to take the other road that led to what I wanted to do. Well, God put up a dead end sign on that path.
No more Danny's road.
My daughter can no longer stay in her school, my mother in law can no longer watch Micah, my college classes are now offered online to get my Bach. degree, and my boss wanted too many hours from me. All of this in one day! I wanted to bury my head in the sand.
I had to leap off of the road I was on and trust God. Once I did that, peace came over me. I know I am doing what is right for my family.
I also started dropping things that had been filling my time.
I just pray that my transition will go smoothly, and a person can fill my place quickly.
Having said that, perhaps I should explain.
I have been feeling overwhelmed lately. I have a lot of crap on my plate. It is my personal problem, but when I mess something up, or heaven forbid, forget something, I have these people that get upset with me. I feel like they should have more of a Christian attitude they pretend to have on Sunday, when they are dealing with me. I am only human and my feelings do get hurt.
On a different note. I am quitting my job at the end of March. I am so torn up by this decision. I love my job and find such joy in working with the amazing people I am blessed to be with during the week. (except one) God has been moving me to make this career change for awhile, but I have been trying to be stubborn.
God is patient, but persentent with what he wants.
After giving me months to do the right thing on my own, God has now taken the choice out of my hands. I will be quitting my job and homeschooling my oldest child and watching my youngest child. On top of this big change, I will be finishing my degree online.
Big life changes, but God has made a way for all of this to happen. He paved the path months ago, but I kept wanting to take the other road that led to what I wanted to do. Well, God put up a dead end sign on that path.
No more Danny's road.
My daughter can no longer stay in her school, my mother in law can no longer watch Micah, my college classes are now offered online to get my Bach. degree, and my boss wanted too many hours from me. All of this in one day! I wanted to bury my head in the sand.
I had to leap off of the road I was on and trust God. Once I did that, peace came over me. I know I am doing what is right for my family.
I also started dropping things that had been filling my time.
I just pray that my transition will go smoothly, and a person can fill my place quickly.
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